I have to be honest; I haven't always been honest on this blog. Sure, I've only had 7 posts. But those 7 posts removed all of the bad parts of my experience and left only the good.
There has been much more good than bad. And when put in perspective, the bad isn't even all that bad. But it's best that I give both sides of this experience and of my life to you, my dear reader (and most likely, family or friend. I don't get the sense that this blog is going to take off any time soon!).
So, with that said, bah humbug.
I'm just not feeling the Christmas spirit! I've got some classic Christmas playing on Pandora (set your station to Jackson 5 Holiday, you won't regret it--seriously), we put up the tree last week and I'm furiously working on projects for those I hold dear to me. We even celebrated St. Nick's day in the house last night; one of the perks of having two devoutly Catholic (and generous) housemates/friends. St. Nick has excellent taste in popcorn creations, by the way.
Even the weather is trying to get me in the Christmas spirit. It's snowing in Pittsburgh! There was a brief (okay, extended) period at the office today where I just sat at my desk and watched the flakes fall furiously, battling the wind that would inevitably hurl them back toward the sky. I actually wonder how much of the snow made its way to the ground on that small section of road; perhaps it all got recycled and Mother Nature played a good trick on me today. Regardless, I enjoyed myself immensely and even thought with relief "maybe my Christmas spirit is coming now"!
Nope. Still nearly devoid of all excitement for this holiday, commercially and spiritually. That's the part that really gets me--that I just don't feel in my heart what I typically feel around this advent season. Those of us who are believers are gearing up for a pretty fantastic event: the day our Savior was born. He was (is) a miraculous gift to his family and to humanity. Why can't I get excited for that?
And to top it all off, I've become anti-social. Me, the girl of 1,000 birthday parties and play dates and "oh mom, I need you to drive me here after you've worked all day"s doesn't want to hang out with anyone. I've taken to hiding in my room from the time I get home from work to the time I go to bed, with about an hour respit for dinner. Weird, right? It's almost as though I don't have the energy to converse. Bahh.
Maybe it's not going through the regular motions of finals and the excitement of a winter break. Maybe--no, definitely, this is the main contributing factor-- it's the fact that I won't see my sister, brother-in-law or my beautiful new niece until February (only 67 days...totally manageable. Right?).
Christmas is coming, whether I like it or not. I have a few ideas to get me in the right spirit. Good thing I have good people here to help me get out of this funk...or to let me be in it but keep checking in on me.
Thank YOU for checking in on me. I promise to not be a Scrooge or a Grinch or a generally all-around miserable person when I see you next. And if I am...feel free to yell at me. Or spread some of your Christmas cheer my way, because I'd surely appreciate it.